Caving

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader

YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS

• begins in the action
• present tense (I am, not I was)
• short, sharp sentences
• strong verbs
• uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
• language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
• show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)

I walk into the dark, caves mouth that looks like a monster. I walk through the cave with freezing water up to my ankles. I walk onto the sloppy mud, My shoes are drenched and it feels like I am walking on jelly. I walk up some rocks that looks like stairs. I grip onto the rail and then onto the rope. The rope had lots of grip and felt rough. I slowly slide down the rope, bouncing off of each rock as I go. I look up at Jason to get my photo taken. I see the bright flash that looks like stars when it flashes.

 I touch down on the bottom like I am landing on the moon. I let go of the rope and it hits the rocks and I see the next person coming down. I jump over the jagged rocks and catch up to the other kids in front of me. I look in front of them to see what's up ahead. Then I see it. Another cave. I wait my turn in line and eventually I make it to the front. I get down on my hands and knees and start to crawl through.

I end up in a room I see flickers of light from the torches.

I climb up a pile of rocks and I look down a hole, Wow! That goes down a long way. I head back to the entrance of the room. I get down again and slide through a tight gap in the wall. I get scratches on my body. I make it out  and I get my photo. We walk to the start of the cave and we look at the glow worms. They look really cool. The cave had finished but to hear a few screams we decided to scare some people. I get up on the side of the cave and then, Ahhh!!!